Things started off okay. I was only taking the carisoprodol when I really needed it. However, as time passed, I gradually became more and more dependent on the drug. I went from taking taking pills maybe three to four times a month to a couple times a week; the next thing I knew I was taking carisoprodol every night just so I could get a good night of sleep. As my dependency increased, I grew wary. I could foresee that I was slipping into something bad, but I also felt as though my body needed it. It scared me at first because I saw it as an addiction, but I think that recognizing that it was more of a dependency then an addiction. Like, it was still bad, but it was what helped wean me off of the medication.
In regards to our readings, I relate my story to those of the amputee-wannabes that Carl Elliot shared. Many of the individuals did not realize that they wanted their limbs amputated until they saw someone that was an amputee. For me, I did not need the drug to fall asleep, but my body condition itself to think that I did need it. I created my own placebo effect.
I had the same experience with the dependency of medication. It is very interesting how medication can control your life and like you said "created my own placebo effect," it made me think that is what most medications do us. We set that mentality in our heads that once we take medication we should be fine.
ReplyDeleteWith Descartes' idea that the mind and body are separate, it kinda made me question him because like you said you did not need the drugs to fall asleep but is it your mind or your body that is tricking itself of needing to take it?
This (carisoprodol) is a particularly troubling drug. It's a 'prodrug" (metabolizes into...) of meprobamate--the famous 'Miltown,' and invented by the same guy. It's a landmark in drug history and pretty much a sad story that sounds like yours. Hard, bad withdrawal. You really should not have been prescribed it for mild muscle cramps / pain. But we passed it out like jellybeans.
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